I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize