i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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