remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I didn't notice because vodka
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
