i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize