I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
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I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
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I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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