Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
