So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
