do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
We're like a lot better than the average bears
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
