we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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