I wish they made helmets for livers.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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