If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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