I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?