im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that