I'm laying in your front yard are you home
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm just crazy horny about you
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?