remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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