to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
