1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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