He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
