am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
she pinky promised me she was 18
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize