it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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