omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
