Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
smell my finger.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
this will be a night to untag.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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