Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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