u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
