Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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