I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize