i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
