Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
