Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
