Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He? As in you personified your dick?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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