We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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