Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
