you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize