I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I think people are normalizing furries
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize