More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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