Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You smell like stripper and shame
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
