remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
wanna go halves on a baby?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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