whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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