i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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