didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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