I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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