so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
