if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
