I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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