I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
