I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
