I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize