i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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