I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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