You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
