My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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