This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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