dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We have started to decorate penises.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
