On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
