Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
