Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
