Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
