Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
