Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
