well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
