I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
