Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
