I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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