You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
